I’m at a family party and I’m reading something on my phone and I overheard my mom tell her friends how “bright” I am and how I’m always reading something and they all looked at me and my mom was like “you see? She’s probably reading Shakespeare.”
I’m reading gay porn
i was making a lot of mistakes and then my archery instructor said:
“you make mistakes because you’re focusing on the target and not on your actions”
and i was like woah
thanks for giving me the best life advice i’ve ever gotten
I just said “that’s brilliant” aloud.
My current clothing style is a combination of “shit I’m late”, “shit it’s cold”, with just a hint of “I’m too lazy to look socially acceptable for you losers”.
me: i better screenshot this just in case i need to use it for black mail